It's true, but I don't want to admit it

How can Ricky Martin be gay? I mean, I guess I can totally understand the how. Maybe why is a better question than how. "Why? Why, Ricky? Why do you have to be gay?" He's so freakin' hot and he's been my luscious Latin fantasy, I just don't want to think I had a pseudo-hot thing for a gay guy. Although, all the men I've loved before have been kind of pretty. Wow! Maybe this is a revelation for me. I don't want to mention names, because some of them are my Facebook Friends and there's no need to travel on that road called the past. I do remember one of my favorite hotties--he looked like Ricky Martin. He was handsome. He was dark. And, he could dance. Well kinda. Not as good as Ricky, but with some Kamikazes and a dance floor, he moved pretty good. Nothing against gay guys--I love 'em--this has just ruined MY fantasy. Which is really silly because I was never going to meet Ricky Martin, nor was I going to have a torrid affair with him if I did. Ah, sigh. I guess it doesn't matter. My life really isn't going to be much different whether Ricky Martin is gay or not. On with life.

Camera shy, camera guy

This kid does not like the camera. These were some shots I was able to take without him getting too disgruntled. His Dad is like that. I didn't know they could hate cameras so early on. Madison and Porter love getting their pictures taken. He is definitely the little odd caboose. I suppose he would rather be the camera man as he mimicked me with the camera battery.

He is the happiest guy in the world, unless you piss him off. Then, he's got a temper. He has this hearty laugh and finds most silly things amusing. He loves to grab my pant leg and take me to play with him. He thinks he can drag me anywhere. He's very smart and knows how to get what he wants. He's already learned that I'm the softy and he can't mess around with Dad.

Ever since we moved and the twins have left Nursery, he hates going to church. Last Sunday he was all smiles and happy to leave the house--until we walked through the doors of the church. As soon as he realized where we were, he acted like he had been ambushed and started screaming and threw himself on the floor. I picked him up and he started crying, shaking his head, and screaming, "No, no, no!" Madison and Porter just looked as us like he was crazy and walked into Primary to take their seats at the front of the class. Madison probably wanted to get there early so she could volunteer to talk or something. (She's done that more than once now--slow down!)

He is a little daredevil. He has had more falls from climbing things then the twins had put together. They were sensible. He is not. He loves the playground. I let him go down the little slide, but that wasn't exciting enough. He climbed all the way to the top of the biggest slide. I thought for sure the long fall would slow him down. Instead, he was exhilarated and wanted to do it again and again. Each time never lost its luster. He grabbed my pant leg and drug me to the top saying, "Mon, Mom!" (C'mon) He wanted me to share in this newfound excitement.

Brant started calling him "Bam, Bam" because he likes to hit things. I call him Lovebug. Brant asked him if we wanted to be called Lane or Bam, Bam. He smiled and chose the latter. Oh, how I love to watch my children. What a perfect stage they are in now.

Til We Meet Again

Today started out upbeat and promised to be productive. However, with an unexpected turn of events, my day became one I wanted to end; hoping I could wake up and have it all be a bad dream. One of the students at our school passed away from a drug overdose. We received the news around noon. I have worked in places where we have lost employees in tragic accidents. I've even lost an employee to a drug overdose before.

This is not the first time death has occurred in my workplace, but today seemed to be harder than the others. I think it was because I was not the person that was the leader this time. Before I have had to keep everyone else buoyed and be strong. I didn't feel that mantle this time. Another reason is because this time, drug addiction is hitting close to home. Someone very close to me is struggling with drug addiction. It is so hard to watch.

We held a group meeting to let everyone talk about their feelings. It was so sad to hear some of the issues that people are dealing with. There were many people in the room who are recovering addicts. They had great success stories, but those seem to be rare. The consensus was that a drug addict has only two roads in their future: death or spending their life as a recovering addict. Their minds are not right and they can't really hear or understand what those who love them are trying to say. Their minds have literally been contaminated with a disease that has one track--it's only to get drugs and to get high. Of course the addiction grows and with it the consequences.

I am so sad. My heart aches for the person I love who has this problem. Everything that was said is echoed in my experience. We can't reach this person. They are gone. The person we once knew has been buried deep into an abyss of a need for drugs. They don't even care or believe that anyone cares about them. Their self-esteem is so low, they don't feel worthy of anyone. It is so hard to know that there is nothing you can do. Now, I don't believe that means they are hopeless, it just means we have to put our faith and prayers in our Heavenly Father. It's just a helpless feeling knowing that you can't change their decisions or actions.

I cried more than I wanted to today. I prayed harder than I have in a long time. I hugged my kids and told my husband how much I love him. I am thankful for what I do have, and hopeful that I won't lose anyone to drugs.

Disneyland...some day

I had to comment on Bobbi's comment...she said, "Wait til you take your kids to Disneyland. You'll cry." We've been telling the twins that we are going to take them to Disneyland when they turn 5. Lane will get to go at 3. It's part of Brant's master parenting plan. When I talk about my goals for the kids, I'm worried about their academic pursuits and he wants to make sure they get to Disneyland every 5 years. He said that he's planning on taking them when they turn 5, 10, 15, and for one last time--when they're 20. I guess we make a good mix of parenting...my kids would hate me if I were in charge of everything. I can tend to be so boring.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine brought her barely 4 year old over to play with the twins. Madison asked how old he was and he said (mistakenly) that he was 5. Madison so, "Oh, are you going to Disneyland?" It was funny--just how much that little girl remembers things we tell her. Yesterday, she told Porter, "Be nice to me--I'm the only sister you have." Way to milk it, Madi.

First Movie Date for the Twins

We have been trying to plan one fun activity every month for Family Home Evening. This Monday we planned to go to a movie theater. The kids have never been and I thought it would be a fun experience for them. Unfortunately, Lane took a really late nap and was still sleeping at 6 p.m. The twins were so excited about it--almost as excited as I was to watch them enjoy this new experience. Brant decided to stay home and I took the twins. I was giddy. There's just something so fun about sharing a new, exciting experience with children. They did not disappoint. They were wide-eyed as we walked into the theater. And, wow--how exciting is that big cage of glass filled with buttery popcorn. Not to mention the shelves of oversized candy boxes.

They had booster seats so we used those. Well, the kids did. I fit just fine--and just barely--in the seats. Madison was slightly frustrated that the commercials were the same ones and kept recycling. In my eager anticipation and planning, I did my usual of arriving too early. In reference to the commercials Madison would say, "We've already seen this one!" I've noticed that Porter really likes music. He would dance in his seat whenever they would play fun songs. About midway through Madison said she was tired and wanted to go home and finish watching the movie there. She is so practical--and, like me--doesn't want to miss her sleep.

Lessons from a Man-Wife

This experiment of role-reversal has been interesting. I really love my new role. I love my work; I am only 2 miles from home; I get great quality time with the kids; which by the way, I get such an overwhelming welcome when I come home. I feel like a celebrity. I don't care if the house is dirty, because I'm only home in the evening and get to leave the dirty dishes, overflowing trash, and piles of laundry for Brant. I have to say, it's a sweet deal.

Brant decided that he really needs a day off once a week. I laughed. I laughed so hard. I said, "You don't get a day off when you're the 'wife.' There's no days off. Ha, ha--sucks to be you. Oh, by the way, I'LL be sleeping in tomorrow because it is MY day off." After he continued begging, I agreed to give him a "Day Off." Not because I am giving in, but because I really can't sleep in (getting old) and I would rather have something that I made for dinner. He's still a little rusty on the cooking. But any meal is better than me having to cook every night.

I've been letting him in on the housewife secrets. He had no idea what a miracle vinegar can be for cleaning and removing hard water. He also didn't realize your not supposed to use all of the space up in the washer with dirty clothes. They do need breathing room. And, hot water in the washer doesn't necessarily equal cleaner clothes. He also discovered that those cool self-cleaning toilet inserts don't really clean the toilet. He's amazed at how quickly unattended children can color the walls with crayons.

Am I smug about his stumbling? I'm trying not to be, but for all of the stay-at-home Mom's that work their buns off--I have to admit there is a little satisfaction in knowing that it's not as easy as those men think it is. A woman who keeps the house clean, does the laundry, cooking, shopping, dental/doctor appointments, organizing, filing, bill paying, continuing education, church service, and the list goes on...those women only make it look easy. Not to mention the loving, nurturing, educating, and development that goes into each of your children. Not to mention the sick kids, late nights, and early mornings that happen. It's alot.

He doesn't like me calling him a man-wife, but I think of it as a term of endearment. It's a combination of a man and a housewife, which in my opinion is quite a compliment.

We're not "name callers"

Madison had to reprimand her Dad for calling her Uncle Brian names. She was quick to jump in and defend her Uncle, whom she adores. I heard this story second-hand, and am paraphasing.

Madison: Dad! We don't call names. Don't call Uncle Brian names.

Brant: I didn't call him a name.

Madison: Yes you did. You called him a "Freakin' Retard." He's not a Freakin' Retard, Dad.

Brant: Oh, that.

Madison: Yes. And, you need to apologize to him. (She uses the word apologize frequently.)

Brant: I'm sorry for calling you a Freakin' Retard, Brian.

Brian: (smiling smugly) Thanks, Madi. Thanks for sticking up for me.

Madison: You're welcome, Uncle Brian. (She exits the room.)

______

I asked Madison about it after Brant and Brian relayed the story to me. She said she couldn't remember what her Dad called Brian, but it wasn't very nice. She said, "We're not name callers, Mom. That's not nice!" And, most importantly, she wanted me to know, "Uncle Brian said, 'Thank you, Madi.'"

To My Mother-in-Law

Hi Rhonda,

How's it going? The time has passed so quickly since we left Vegas. I know the kids miss their grandma and grandpa. We're having fun in our new house, but still trying to unpack and get settled. Brant is doing so well. He said that he is happier than he has ever been. I went yardsaling a couple of times to get furnishings for the house. That's been fun.

Lane is in the stage where he has a bump or bruise every couple of days. He is a daredevil. He has a huge goose-egg, nasty bruise on his left side of his forehead. He almost split his lip yesterday and now has a fat lip and a bruise above his lip. He climbs on EVERYTHING. Lane is starting to say alot more words, but still prefers to grunt alot. He is a jokester, but has a bad temper. He was ticked off at me in Wal-mart the other night and started throwing a fit. I told him he was going to go to time out. He yelled at me. Wow! Then he started screaming and crying. An older lady tried to come over and cheer him up. That pissed him off more. He yelled at her and I was afraid he was going to hit her. Yes, he is my little Brant.

Porter is still easy going and happy go lucky. He loves the grass in the backyard. He's still a Momma's boy. He is so kindhearted and can get his feelings hurt easily. He will sit in the bathtub for hours--even after Madison and Lane have gotten tired of it and gotten out. Whenever Brant says something that he thinks is too rough, mean, or loud he will ask me to go and talk to Dad with him. He does a good job of expressing how Brant hurt his feelings. Brant readily apologizes. I think it's good for Brant. Porter is also my self-proclaimed "Protector." He's so cute.

Madison is ever-inquisitive and way too smart! She knows all of her ABC's by sight now. She can write her "M" and is working on the rest of her name. She loves to play the alphabet app on Brant's phone. She will wake up at the slightest noise in the morning and comes running in to see if I have left yet. She's always wanting to get in on the action. She still plays her "Little Momma" role.

We've been reading from the Book of Mormon. I bought them each their own B of M. Just a cheap one. We put scripture stickers on the pages every time we read a chapter. I was having a hard time keeping Porter's attention so I had the kids start acting out what we were reading. It's gone over really well with him. Lane loves his book and carries it around with him. Sometimes he'll bring it to me and say, "B-ooooo-k!"

Brant is enjoying the stay-at-home thing, but is a little overwhelmed by the work. Of course, he'll never admit it. He was frustrated the other day because he said he has to clean every day and thinks it will get better once we get unpacked. Ha, ha! I'm glad he is getting a true taste of it. He is trying and I can't complain about it. But let's be honest--he can't even touch what a housewife does. Well, not yet. Maybe with practice. He can't believe how the laundry piles up and came up with this novel idea to leave the kids in their pajamas for days. He figured it would cut down on the laundry. I nixed that idea fast. He has made a sincere attempt to fix meals. He also gets the twins to practice their letters every day.

I signed up for college classes and am going to take a couple in the Summer. I think I am going to try to finish a degree in accounting. I'm not trying to get it done quickly, I just want to dabble in it so that I'll have more employment options in the future. I have also been selling cinnamon rolls at the school. I just make about $40 a week, but we're saving that money for a vacation. I am also working with a friend to start a consulting business. Very excited about that.

We wanted to try to come over for Easter if you aren't going anywhere. Let me know. I think the kids will love it!

Love and miss you,

Liz