To Be A Kid Again

Not a care in the world, enjoying the warm summer days. They were eating ice cream after playing in the sprinklers.











They discovered a fun little hiding spot in the dryer.














Their cousin, Krew, was visiting and they had popcorn and movie night.
















The boys on the front patio at 7 pm. It's still nice and warm outside. Hopefully the neighbors don't mind their love of running around in nothing but their boxers.

Then and Now

Life is full of discoveries. I am amazed that even on the eve of approaching 40 I am still learning so much and am so eager to learn. If I could stamp a word over this week I think it would say, “overwhelmed.” I started my “back to college” this week. It has been quite an adventure.

You know when you watch those time travel movies and there are all kinds of new technology introduced? That’s how I kind of feel. Being back in an academic setting has brought back many memories of my previous college years. Funny though, how I was a completely different person. The “Then and Now” is so interesting I can’t help but compare.

I am taking 3 classes online. That was not even a possibility before. They were starting to use “remote” classrooms. It was a new idea that teachers would lecture on video and the classes would be broadcast on PBS or a special local channel. Students who were ahead of the game, recorded their classes to VHS. And, if they had a really fancy VCR, they could record it without even being home.

Every class has emphasized “no cell phones or texting during class.” That was not an issue before—hardly anyone carried around a big brick cell phone back then. And texting—I would have been like texting? What’s that? Sending your textbooks to other people? Then, if someone explained, “Oh, it’s like online chatting just on your phone.” I would have been like, “What? You can’t do that.”

All of the teachers have made their email and cell phones available to students. Before—you had to catch the professor during his office hours or leave him a note. And, as an added bonus, all of your classmates can become your friends on Facebook.

Powerpoint is the new way to lecture. One teacher walked in with his jumpdrive and plugged into the computer that was in the classroom. That’s new. In the 90’s someone would have said, “Jump what?” Or what is that tiny little thing on your keychain, a 16 MG memory chip. No…it’s the equivalent of a 2GB hard drive. And then, I would be like, “What? That’s impossible. That’s like putting the storage space of 50 of my Mac’s on to that little chip.” That’s right—at least 50 of my Mac’s. And, I was really cool because I had a computer. No one had computers back then. At least not in college.

I think I have changed as a student. I thought I was a nerd back in the day, I have grown into an even bigger nerd. I can’t stand being late and I’m over cautious about neatness. In math, I typed my homework, included all of my information and put it in two columns with lines dividing each problem. The poor girl next to me said, “Were we supposed to type our homework?” I responded, “No, I’m just anal. I have issues—as in psychological disorders. You know, lots or problems that have initials—OCD, ADD, ADHD.” She just said, “Oh.”

I actually love to sit in the front row and be early as opposed to previously sneaking in just under the wire and grabbing a backseat. I’m very worried about getting perfect scores now. I used to just be glad to pass—although I would do average or above.

The first day of my math class, we had to take a pretest. It included a section on your perception of your abilities and ideas towards math. The last part was actual algebra problems. I gave myself high marks for confidence, but failed miserably on the skill section. I smiled as I imagined the teacher looking at my paper. He probably thought I was a little out-of-touch with reality. I’ve just been through enough in life, that I know I can do anything I put my mind to. I don’t think I believed that in my twenties. I also have gained a lot of life skills over the years that I have kind of taken for granted. I’m not at all afraid to talk to the person next to me and ask their name. I’ve been much more outgoing. In fact, I enjoy reaching out to people and making them feel more comfortable.

There’s still old fashioned fun about buying new notebooks, pens, pencils, and highlighters. The hard chairs and teachers lecturing hasn’t changed. History is still history, and math is still the same bunch of formulas. I’ve kicked myself many times over the years for not finishing my degree when I was so close. But, I don’t think I really new what I wanted to be when I grew up. It’s taken me a long time to discover myself and what it is that I actually want. I wish I could have known sooner, but life is a journey. Even if you get to where you’re going, you don’t stay there very long.

What doesn't kill us...

...makes us stronger. Really? Is it just me or has life gotten really treacherous lately? I feel like there are so many things "attacking" from every direction. And, there's just not enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Especially, when you're trying to get to a better situation in life. I feel a day late and a dollar short almost every day.

I went to campus today to find the bookstore and purchase my books. I had no idea where it was. BTW, it's not on the college campus map they hand out. How dumb is that? I didn't want to be the old lady that asked where the bookstore was if it was right next to me. I noticed a flow of students coming with books in plastic bags. Obviously, if I followed the line of ants then I would find the anthill. After stalking a few students, I finally found it. And, yes, books are still way overpriced. Why can't they send out digital files of the textbook? Do you know how much cheaper that would be. I just got three of my books today--a mere $174.

Our computer is riddled with viruses so I haven't been able to upload any pictures. I'm bummed because I have so much going on and would like to blog about it. Brant doesn't understand my need to blog. Writing is my outlet. If I ever become famous, I will have a well-documented life. :) The computer also will freeze up in the middle of using it. Ughh!!! Frustration.

We are putting the kids in a "dance" class on Monday nights. Ever since Madison saw her cousins Emy and Averi Frampton perform at a dance competition in St. George, she has been wanting to go to dance classes. I bought her some leotards and dance skirts in pink. She is so excited. Porter doesn't want to go. We told him to try it and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to go. If the boys don't go it will save me a lot of money. It's actually such a beginning class that it's the basics of tumbling, following directions, and some toe pointing.

Lane has been our ER poster child this month. He fell out of the bunkbed and cut his head open on an open dresser drawer. We shaved it, cleaned it, and glued it. It's healed nicely. As a result, he's sporting a mohawk. Two days ago he ended up in the ER because he got into Brant's Adderall. He was one stoned little kid. If you don't know, it's an amphetamine. Or, more commonly referred to as "speed" on the street. If you need it, it calms you down. If you don't, well then you become very happy. And, yes Brant does have a prescriptioin for it. It's fairly potent and requires a regular visit to the doctor to continue prescriptions. Lane kept saying, "Me happy. Me feel good." They had to give him the maximum dose of sedatives--or "downers" in street-speak. He was tweaking like a mad man. I felt horrible. Hopefully, that will be the last and only time I have to go to the hospital because my son overdosed on a controlled substance. He didn't go to sleep until 4:30 am.

Brant and I have been tag teaming on the work schedule. He works Wednesday through Sunday nights and I work Monday through Thursday days. We are still trying to catch up from being unemployed for two months. But, despite it all, we are making ends meet. And, for that we are grateful. Plus, we all still have our health. You can't put a price on that.

I'm trying to get into the academic mode. It's been a long time. About 18 years to be precise. Funny how I came to the realization that I have been forty for most of my life. The out-of-place feeling I had today on campus is the same one I had back in college. I think I have always been older than everyone. It's just a mindset, I guess. I had to laugh to myself. I guess I've finally reached my age. I am starting with English, Elementary Algebra, Computer Literacy, American History, and Library Information. All general classes, so nothing too hard yet.