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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Alaska is the end of the world.

Lane is limping around with a broken leg, but getting better and better at it. He has an annoying habit of waiting until the very last minute to have to go to the bathroom. (Hmmm...sounds like a certain sister.) Pre-cast this was okay, because he could run to the bathroom.

He was on a bar stool when the urge hit. He yelled for me and I rushed towards him in a fake emergency mode. I grabbed him and threw him over my shoulder and ran for the bathroom. I flopped him forward over my shoulder and caught him in my arms. He was laughing and I held him in a "low-dip-tango-ish" dance pose with him almost upside down and his head nearly touching the floor.

I said over-dramatically, "I'd carry you to the end of the world and back!" He said, "You would." I said, "Yes." Pragmatic like he is, he responded, "Mom, that's a really long way. I think you'll be really tired." I laughed and said, "Probably." He said, "Wow! Would you take me to Alaska?" I said, "Yes!" He said, "Good cause Alaska is where the end of the world is at."

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Red, White, and Blue

I am not Mexican, nor am I Salvadorian. But, I could not convince the Vietnamese nail lady I was not. She wanted to know what Spanish country I came from. I seriously thought she was kidding, until she said, "Ja, maybe for you no like Mexican because you some other Spanish. You know, you Spanish people so mad someone call you Mexican and you no Mexican. For me, people say Chinese. I say no me Vietnamese. But is okay, I no care!" I told her I wasn't any kind of Spanish and the only Spanish I knew was Taco Bell, Nacho Bell Grande, and Mexican Pizza.

My skin is as white as the driven snow. Maybe it was one of those instances when a person of a particular race thinks that another race all looks the same...except I'm not Spanish so I can't look like all of the other Spanish people. She asked me what I was if I wasn't Spanish. I said, white, plain old vanilla white. I said, "Look at my arms. They're covered in freckles." Then I realized it kinda sucks not to be part of an ethnic group. People from other countries can say their Italian, German, Polish, Swedish. I could say American but that includes too many races to be distinctive.

Then I thought about it more and realized that "white" people are so diluted in their genealogy they have no distinct race or nationality. I mean, I have ancestors who are Irish, Portugese, Jewish, etc. (Mom and Dona know more about that.) But I don't get a cool name. I'm really disappointed that all I have is a color and it's not even a cool color. I think everyone should just have to say what color they are and even be able to pick their color. That would be fair.

Or else, I need some cool label. Caucasian is not cool, by the way. In fact, it's not even applicable as it is a word that originated in 1807 and referred to people who originated from the Caucasus Mountains between the Black and Caspian seas. (Which is no where close to America.) I don't know a single soul from the Caucasus Mountains. Maybe someday I can return to my homeland and meet my people.