Til We Meet Again

Today started out upbeat and promised to be productive. However, with an unexpected turn of events, my day became one I wanted to end; hoping I could wake up and have it all be a bad dream. One of the students at our school passed away from a drug overdose. We received the news around noon. I have worked in places where we have lost employees in tragic accidents. I've even lost an employee to a drug overdose before.

This is not the first time death has occurred in my workplace, but today seemed to be harder than the others. I think it was because I was not the person that was the leader this time. Before I have had to keep everyone else buoyed and be strong. I didn't feel that mantle this time. Another reason is because this time, drug addiction is hitting close to home. Someone very close to me is struggling with drug addiction. It is so hard to watch.

We held a group meeting to let everyone talk about their feelings. It was so sad to hear some of the issues that people are dealing with. There were many people in the room who are recovering addicts. They had great success stories, but those seem to be rare. The consensus was that a drug addict has only two roads in their future: death or spending their life as a recovering addict. Their minds are not right and they can't really hear or understand what those who love them are trying to say. Their minds have literally been contaminated with a disease that has one track--it's only to get drugs and to get high. Of course the addiction grows and with it the consequences.

I am so sad. My heart aches for the person I love who has this problem. Everything that was said is echoed in my experience. We can't reach this person. They are gone. The person we once knew has been buried deep into an abyss of a need for drugs. They don't even care or believe that anyone cares about them. Their self-esteem is so low, they don't feel worthy of anyone. It is so hard to know that there is nothing you can do. Now, I don't believe that means they are hopeless, it just means we have to put our faith and prayers in our Heavenly Father. It's just a helpless feeling knowing that you can't change their decisions or actions.

I cried more than I wanted to today. I prayed harder than I have in a long time. I hugged my kids and told my husband how much I love him. I am thankful for what I do have, and hopeful that I won't lose anyone to drugs.