My last post mentioning the divorce happened to be the official date the papers were entered and official. It all happened very quickly--He moved out in April and two months later--voila! A lot of people that know us both have been contacting me--surprised that we were divorced because it did happen so quickly, no one really had time to find out about it.
I don't really know what to say about it, but I feel like I want to process all of it. Alot of it I've already gone through--talking and talking and talking to friends who have been willing to listen. Fortunately, or unfortunately I have a few friends who have been through divorce. New friends and old, have offered a lot of helpful advice. I am so, so, so grateful for the support they have offered. I never had much understanding or empathy for divorcees. It seems as if you are both glad the relationship is over, then it should be easy.
We have both talked to each other alot about it over the months. We've been much better friends than we were spouses. Although, I am still not settled about how everything ended up. I certainly have had my hand in deception and failing to communicate. But knowing I was trying as hard as I could and it I couldn't compete with other interests did take its toll. Having to harbor a lot of the mistruths that were put out there have also been difficult. Do you lie for someone who betrayed you? Or, make sure the truth is known to someone who is a stranger? Where do your loyalties lie? I can't pretend to say I am loyal to the truth, because I have done my share of lying. In the end, I was loyal to the lies of the betrayor because I do believe that all truth eventually comes to the surface.
I am coming to learn that it is not up to me to right everyone elses' wrongs. I have plenty of my own to work on. I have a couple of good "Anti-Drama" friends who keep me in check when my actions start to be driven by my emotions. They're men, of course, it's so much easier for them. Emotionally, things get better every day. I am starting to get in a routine with life; adapting to not having my kids at home every day has been the hardest. But, I am working harder on myself than I ever have before and that feels good.
1 comment:
Oh, Liz- Do you want to come and lay on my couch and I will therapize you? I'm sorry. I have been totally out of the blogosphere for a while now simply because I'm so busy in my life I don't have time to write about it or check on anyone else. I would love to be a listening ear or just let you scream into the phone. Email me if you want to talk and I will include my phone number or email me yours and I will call you.
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