The heart of Christmas is Christ—that’s the reason we celebrate. I believe children, with their sweetness, innocence, and unbridled joy, keep the spirit of Christ alive. Faith gives us hope, and with faith and hope, love naturally follows.
For years, I was single, and I didn’t have my twins until I was 35. There were times I felt like I was on the outside looking in, watching others experience things I longed for. Over time, I’ve realized that loneliness isn’t always about being physically alone. Many people feel isolated even when surrounded by others. And while the Christmas season has always been special to me, it’s never been as magical as it has been since I’ve had children.
I’ve also learned something about myself: I was so good at hiding my loneliness that no one knew how I felt.
This year, my Christmas prayer is for anyone who feels like they’re on the outside looking in to take a step forward and fully embrace the Christmas moment. And for those who already feel “in,” I hope they take a moment to look around and notice if someone else is hoping to join in too. Reaching out takes courage, but I truly believe that there are good people all around us, and no one has to be left out.
One Christmas that I expected to be my worst turned out to be one of my most memorable. It was the first year my kids wouldn’t be with me, and my heart was breaking. I was alone in a tiny apartment, knew no one in town, and didn’t have the means to travel to see my family.
I remember growing up and working every single holiday. Many Christmas Eves were spent working in Tuba City or Page so that others could enjoy time with their families. I thought back to those times and realized I had a choice: I could let myself sink into sadness, or I could do something about it. My friend Tracy Hugenroth, a constant inspiration in service and kindness, came to mind, and an idea started forming.
I took my sadness, my loneliness, and turned it into action. I made lunches and delivered them randomly to people who were working on Christmas Day. It was a lot of work, but it helped me focus on others—on people who needed a little kindness that day. Looking back, I can’t imagine how much harder that Christmas would have been if I had done nothing.
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The above post was from December 25, 2014. Tomorrow, my kids have asked to do deliveries again.
I’m not sharing this to stand on a soapbox or to preach. I just want anyone reading this to know that if your Christmas isn’t turning out the way you dreamed, you’re not alone. There are people who don’t have the friendships, family, or relationships you might have, and many won’t even get Christmas off work. As much as you may feel you need something this season, someone out there needs you even more—whether they’re a stranger or a family member.
If you find yourself not “getting,” try giving. You might be surprised at how much you receive in return.
Go do something for someone less fortunate than you, and you’ll find that loneliness fades. And who knows? You might just change someone’s life—and your own.
