Geez...I haven't written on this blog for so long. Writing has always be so good for me, but I think I quit writing for a hobby when I started writing for money. Seems like that happens a lot. You have something you love to do, but when it become as job you're required to do it becomes uninteresting.
The other thing I've realized is that pain, tragedy, and hardship make for good stories. I had a lot back in the post-divorce struggling days. Life was tough. Nowadays, we are so blessed and we're always short on time, but life is good. My kids are amazing and despite being single I wouldn't trade it. I can always "get back out there" but I can never get my kids' childhood. I just don't have good material anymore!
I regret not writing more because going back and reading some of the things we did and said I realize a person can forget. I showed Brant some of the old pictures when the kids were young and he told me that he was sorry for always getting mad at me for taking pictures. He hated me following him around with a camera, but now he said he was grateful. That meant a lot...and also meant that I was right about a lot of things and it's about time he realized it. I mean...that's how I took it.
My life before kids really didn't have any meaning. I was footloose and fancy free and had a heck of a lot more money, but nothing in the world could be traded for kids. The golden years are not going to be when I'm old and gray, they're now when I'm young-er and tired because I have added three kids to my life. I started this blog a few months before Lane was born and it was as a journal, it just happened to be a journal everyone could read. I suppose I should start there because in ten years I won't remember today. I don't feel like I have anything to write about, but I need to write...right?
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