For some reason, people gravitate toward me like I’m their personal therapist. I don’t mind, though. I genuinely love people, and maybe they sense that. Last night, someone I hadn’t spoken to in years texted me. We’d met through work a long time ago, and out of the blue, he wanted to go out for dinner. Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything worse. Leaving the house for something that feels pointless and like a waste of money? Hard pass. I turned him down but kept the conversation going, asking how he was doing.
His responses made me pause. They were heavy, despondent, full of hopelessness. It was clear he was giving up. He didn’t outright say it, but his words hinted at a kind of finality in life.
I was immediately reminded of a similar moment about four years ago. Another acquaintance reached out, and I ignored him. Less than a week later, he took his own life. I can’t say I was responsible for his decision, but I’ve never stopped wondering if I could have made a difference. That regret lingers.
Last night, I felt too busy again, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was important. So, I invited Randy over to hang out with me and the kids. He’s in his sixties, divorced for over a decade, and his job is running him ragged—12- to 18-hour days with no extra pay. Last summer, he was diagnosed with cancer, though it’s now in remission. He’s too old to start over but holding on to his job by sheer willpower. As he told me his story, I looked at him and said, “Your life sucks. So now what?”
He laughed. And we laughed. It wasn’t a dismissal of his pain but an acknowledgment of it—a way to break the tension and make it feel manageable. We talked about how sometimes life just sucks, and that’s okay to admit. You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge, as Dr. Phil would say. I gave him what advice I could and listened. Really listened.
After he left, I kept thinking about what that conversation taught me—or reminded me. Here are three things that stood out:
1. Your station in life can change.
Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. I’m recovering from three of the hardest years of my life, and everything has turned around. We’re blessed beyond measure now. But during those tough years, I had to remind myself daily that life isn’t static. Things will shift, even if it feels impossible in the moment.
2. A positive attitude is everything.
Negativity doesn’t solve anything. It only drags you further down. Even when I was heartbroken for my kids and felt like a failure for the hardships my choices brought into their lives, I knew I had to keep hope alive. I wanted my kids to see that I had a positive attitude, even when life wasn’t fair. Kids see the world through their parents’ eyes. They learn resilience—or defeat—from what we model for them. So, I showed them how to fight through the tough times with faith and determination.
3. We need help—both Heavenly and earthly.
No one gets through life alone. When you’re at the low end of the tide, you have to hope there are people who will carry you through—even if you don’t deserve it. I’ve been there.
In 2013, I lost my job and was broke. My dad had to buy me a shuttle ticket to St. George. Devon gave me $20 for food. Everyone pitched in to help. But there’s one moment that still stands out: Jake gave me $50. Compared to what others gave, it wasn’t much monetarily. But for him and his family, it was everything. It was genuine, compassionate, and from the heart. That $50 meant more to me than he’ll ever know because it was all he had to give.
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