Personality Plus

I got Porter excited about Personality Plus when he was in high school. I have two copies of the book. I was going to donate them a few months ago--and said, "No, don't do that! I want to keep that book."

Madi never really took to the idea, until last night--I kept saying, "You are such a Sanguine." So, fortunately, because of Porter I still have a copy of the book.

I pulled it out and explained it to her. It also made me realize a lot of what she attributes to her ADHD is really sanguine traits. I told her that too--she has a tendency to think, "I can't do this because my brain doesn't work like normal people." I was trying reiterate that despite having a "good reason" you still have to find a way to make things happen in life. No one will do that for you.

I read the page that says all of the traits of a Sanguine. Her response, "So basically Sanguines are perfect people?" I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh I can't wait to tell Tracy you said that!" Ms. QUEEN SANGUINE!

She has a best friend who is melancholy and they literally had the same lunch plans scenario we did--where Madi would say, "Oh that sounds fun." And poor little Melancholy Emily was putting in on the calendar only for Ms. Madi to completely space it off. I had to message Tracy--the person who originally introduced me to Personality Plus. ME: I've been struggling getting her to do the things we agreed for her to do. I woke up this morning and the entire downstairs with several of the projects we discussed--DONE! So maybe, just maybe, it's starting to resonate with her. I think discovering her Sanguine identity is helping her see that she has strengths and weaknesses.

TRACY: Lol! Im so glad that the kids are taking to it and you are using it to help them! When I stayed with you and you were having a hard time with Madi cleaning her room because she would start, but then she would find some thing and start messing with it and totally off cleaning her room… We talked about could she be sanguine and I think at that time you didn’t think she was. Too funny. And tell Madi, she’s absolutely correct! Lol

ME: Haha! I'm sure she will agree with you! Yes, I told her it is to this day, one of the most useful books I've come across in life. Her counselor told her that she puts a lot of weight on her identity of "ADHD" and seeing it as a disability.

I've been trying to get her to set goals and she's so fun, but I can't keep her focused. I finally asked her why she thinks I am assigning her tasks and talking so much about them. She said, "Because you need me to help you." I said, "No, because I'm trying to teach YOU how to set goals and accomplish them." She's doing online school and not working at the moment. Both boys are in school and working. I'm working two jobs, so I've put her in charge of cleaning the house. I said, "I could do the cleaning, or we could share it, but this is an opportunity for you to set goals and figure out what works best for you to reach your goals. This is for you."

TRACY: You're such a good mom! I've been struggling with getting her to do the things we agreed for her to do. I woke up this morning and the entire downstairs with several of the projects we discussed--DONE! So maybe, just maybe, it's starting to resonate with her. I think discovering her Sanguine identity is helping her see that she has strengths and weaknesses.

Well... we read the Choleric chart too. I can't remember word-for-word and Madi has the book in her room, but it said Choleric parent is organized, talks about goals, etc. I said to Madi, "Notice there is no FUN in the Choleric parent." lol. We got a good laugh out of it, but I think understanding personalities goes a long way.

Teacher to break it down. If she’s like me, she sees the whole big picture but has a hard time breaking it down into doable pieces. I remember being taught not to tell our kids to clean their room because that was overwhelming, but to ask them to do one thing at a time, like, pick up the blocks and put them in this box and then when they finish that, ask them to pick up all the dolls and put them in a box, etc. I think that’s why I need lists so much. Where are you could be told once what needs to be done or even see what needs to be done and start working on it and accomplish it. I had to have a list of each task and be able to check it off to be able to accomplish anything. Maybe she needs to be list-icle like me

ME: She hates lists! But I think it's because I love them so much. I pulled up Canva and they have a sample vision board--lots of templates. I asked her to pick one that resonates with her. She picked ALL photos, and one that had everything in pink. Of course, I rolled my eyes. But, that worked for HER. So I told her tomorrow, she can create her own photos for her own goals and it's okay that it is not how I would do it. I want her to find a way that works for HER.

TRACY: See! Having me as a friend trained you for being a good mom! If you can put up with me as a friend, you can put up with anyone!

ME: You and my dad! Yes, it is a great blessing to have you as a friend.

ME: Imagine if we could go back and know then what we know now.

TRACY: Oh dear. I love that about you, though

ME: That's what my friend Steve says too. He always tells me he knows I'm going to be brutally honest, but it comes from a place of love. Yep. That's me.