I have never been a fan of holidays, or birthdays, or any other reason to be silly. I hate dressing up for Halloween. I really used to hate Christmas, it was way too depressing. Can't stand New Year's Eve because I don't like to stay up late. Besides, how stupid is it to stay up until you really tired, and then scream and yell at the very moment the clock strikes 12? It's not 12 everywhere so everyone is doing it at different times. And what's with the kiss a stranger at midnight? I don't need a holiday to do that. Did it for $50 bucks in college, but I don't like to talk about it.
Never celebrated Fourth of July because I spent my childhood working at Taco Bell since that was the busiest weekend of the entire year. Granted, having children has made holidays a lot more fun, but that's because it's about them not me.
On my birthday this year--okay every year--I never tell anyone it's my birthday. It's makes me uncomfortable. I'm planning on working the entire week of Christmas and on Christmas this year. I formally declined attending the work Christmas party. I hate spending money on frivolous things, i.e. gifts. I have refused to celebrate my best friend's birthday on her birthday because she was born on Christmas. I usually try to do something in November and even once planned a surprise party for her in November. Boy was she surprised--a month early. When New Year's comes around, I refuse to do New Year's Resolutions. I just know that if I make them because it's the beginning of the year they are going to be over in a month anyway. If I have goals, I do them whenever I want not because it's that time of the year.
If I ever wonder why I don't have a lot of friends, this little blog entry may explain it. I can be a grumpy grinch sometimes. And here we are with Thanksgiving. Everyone is doing their 30 days of thanks. Trust me, I am not knocking it. In fact, I am jealous of people who can get excited about traditions. I love that people choose a non-materialistic way to show gratitude. I know gratitude makes us happy. I am very grateful, but I don't want to use November as an excuse to say so.
I would be very ungrateful if I didn't stand before you and.... (Sorry, had to throw that in--really bad Mormon joke.) See, I can't even get serious about this stuff. Strip away my pride and bravado and I really do have to say I have come to know that I am really blessed lately. And, I am thankful for so many things that have come my way during a time of struggle for me. I just want to be clear for the record, that my thanks giving has NOTHING to do with Thanksgiving. I would not want anyone to get the wrong idea that I might be celebrating a holiday.
Gratitude makes me happy. I have had so many small miracles lately, my mind is filled with thankfulness. Many have been monetary, several have been spiritual, mental clarity, and others are simply good health and time to be with my children. I don't know why, but this past month money has almost been thrown at me. Not alot, but still a wonderful supplement to aid in my expenses. Here's my list of just some things: Overtime at work for almost a month now. (That's rare.) Walmart gift card, free movie tickets, $50 Chili's gift card, $25 Olive Garden gift card, $20 in the mail, dozens of emails from people responding to my blog or just taking time to comment or support me.
(By the way my love language is verbal and if you have ever commented or privately emailed me, I guarantee I have read what you wrote at least three times. It warms my heart and makes me smile for hours to hear words of kindness written to me.) I've had clarity and focus and direction like never before. I feel energized and guided. I even talk to dead people. (That's really true, but it only happened once last week and I don't like to talk about it.)
I think a lot of my turning the corner had to do with meeting the window washer in the parking lot. It was a big eye-opener to how blessed I am. It also made me fully appreciate looking at the glass half full. Reality is how we perceive it. I am very thankful this month--and I will be very thankful in February too. Which by the way, I have no intentions of celebrating Valentine's Day.
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