Have you ever noticed that choices you are anguishing over don't seem to be hard decisions for other people on the outside looking in? I guess it's because whatever the dilemma--it's not a challenge for them. It's debilitating to realize this is an area that you haven't made good choices in the past and the road it leads you down isn't always the best. But when you haven't been able to make up for your incompetency, you still are handicapped about making good, healthy choices.
I guess no matter how old we all get, we still have those areas that we need to work on. I have a best friend that always tries to steer me in the right direction--because she's really good at the area I am weak in. But sometimes I don't relate to what she's saying. I don't get why what I'm doing may not be the best way. Wow! How did I get to be 41 (for ten more days) and not get some things that are simple for everyone else.
I made a choice. I don't know if it's the right one, but I'm sticking with it. I'm nervous about it. Some things I like to ignore and then let life choose me. But life is getting shorter not longer. So I guess I have to try to grow up and not act like a whimsical 14 year old. I might be growing up...just kidding.
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