Joyful Noise

Primary church program is tomorrow. All three kids have a little line that they go up to the pulpit and say. And, this proud mama hen watched all of her chicks say their lines with perfect execution. Bless their little hearts they had to sit through nearly an hour and a half practice in the chapel. At first all of the kids were excited, but towards the end every child was either extremely restless or about to fall asleep. I was about to fall asleep watching them.

Lane, in his usual stubbornness got bored and started reading a hymn book. I guess that was more interesting. When they were supposed to stand, a primary teacher was prodding him to stand up with the other kids. He was like, no thanks I'm fine sitting here reading hymns. He did finally stand up and started doing the crotch hold. I knew he had to go to the bathroom, but didn't want to walk up there and interrupt. Eventually, either a teacher noticed or he said something. He could not get away from the boredom fast enough. I was even relieved to get a break from the monotony.

Madison and Porter started draping themselves over the partition next to the pulpit. I kept signaling to them to sit up and smile. They started signing "No. Boring. Go. Hungry." They've learned enough sign to "speak" in short words. I hoped no one else knew what they were signing. So I started signing back, "Sit! Quiet. Stand. Sing." Madison in her passive aggressive way, started refusing to sing and put on a defiant frowning face.

The leaders kept encouraging the kids to sit up straight, look happy, don't be too loud, watch the chorister, and remember where you're supposed to stand. I know they were all probably nervous about the program not being a total disaster and trying to keep 50 kids under control is certainly not a job I would want any part of. I know they needed a practice, but it was so long I don't know how the kids did as well as they did.

A friend of mine was explaining his church to me and it sounded like so much fun. Church and fun almost seem like a paradox. I mean, boring doesn't have to equal righteousness, right? Imagine that. The preacher was giving his sermon from his Ipad. That can't be sacrilegious right? I mean it's just an updated version of writing notes on paper or a computer print out. The music was lively and they stood up several times to participate.

I'm not suggesting church turns into a party; I understand that reverence is an important element of religion, but I'm wondering if there isn't some happy medium that could be reached. They are getting a little more progressive. Just in my lifetime they've changed the three meetings per week to just one on Sunday. And I remember in the 70's we used to go to church in the morning; go home; and come back later in the day. They said they changed it because gas prices were getting too high and didn't want everyone spending their money on extra travel to and from church. Imagine that--78 cents was so unreasonable.

I think it could be time for some modern innovation that wouldn't take away from the core principles of the church. In the last couple of decades Blacks have been able to hold the priesthood and in a revolutionary move, missionaries can now serve at a younger age.

I have this really great idea. I figure if Mitt Romney becomes President maybe he could use his political influence to change up the church routine a little. He could appoint Glady's Knight (also a Mormon) to head up the revolution. She is very gospel oriented and I believe she could liven things up while still retaining reverence and R-E-S-P-E-C-T! (Okay, so that was Aretha Franklin who is not Mormon, but you know what I mean.) David Archuleta (former Idol finalist AND Mormon) could be on the committee. And why not let Donnie and Marie help out too. They have a big Mormon family so they could enlist all of the brothers, sons, daughters, grandkids, etc. to introduce the idea to each ward. Or maybe stake conferences would be more efficient. It could be like a Mormon tour, "Mormons really can be fun."

This is like the best idea I've had all day! Fun and church could become a synonym instead of an antonym. I hope somebody famous (with influence) is reading this, or maybe just a General Authority.

On an ADD and unrelated note...do you wonder how weird General Authority sounds to non-members. They're probably wondering why we have appointed men who are authorities on general matters.